Posts Tagged ‘This cyborg life’
This Cyborg Life Gets Unplugged [This Cyborg Life]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 16th, 2009
With Monday here, it’s time to wrap up last week’s theme This Cyborg Life, a look into the future of the machine called Man.
Yes, that means saying goodbye to Aimee Mullins. She was with us for three essays, all of which dealt with issues of prostheses from unexpected perspectives, that few of us will soon forget. In case you missed any, have a look:
• Is Choosing a Prosthesis So Different than Picking a Pair of Glasses?
• Racing on Carbon Fiber Legs: How Abled Should We Be?
• Normal Was Never Cool: Inception of Perception
Of course, what we really tried to explore is the notion that “prosthetics” aren’t just carbon fiber limbs. Is a smartphone with a Bluetooth headset anything but? Using technology to augment ourselves physically and mentally is now a regular part of our agenda, and will be more and more integral to our selves in the coming decades, from implantable computers to programming our body’s biological robots to do our bidding.
A big thanks to Aimee Mullins, Marc Hodosh at TEDMED and all of the other contributors and experts who joined us this week:
• Robot expert and author Daniel H. Wilson – Me and My Exoskeleton: The Trick to Super Strength
• Michael Specter, author and science writer at The New Yorker – Synthetic Biology: Why Not Pursuing Crazy Biotech Is Dangerous
• Author Anna Jane Grossman – Psychic Powers, Cochlear Implants, and My Bionic Ex-Boyfriend
• Dr. Debby Herbenick, author and sexologist at The Kinsey Institute and Indiana University – Becoming a Sexual Cyborg (NSFW)
And in case all of that wasn’t enough, to read all of the stories from This Cyborg Life, use this link.
Can Your Body Be A Battery? [This Cyborg Life]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 16th, 2009
What if machines ran off biological fuel—blood sugar—from our bodies? Could we basically power gadgets on America's increasing supply of body fat and Snickers bars?
The questions were thrown at me by our dear Brian Lam with a disclaimer of "I may have been under narcotic substances when I came up with this idea." But, despite that disclaimer, he's onto something. After all, we've looked at concept models of gadgets intended to be powered in that precise manner and there's been some success in recent bio-battery research. So, why aren't we sating both gadget lust and hunger in the same bite yet?
It turns out that the bio-batteries closest to reality at this time have a major problem with waste products. That waste is created as those particular batteries involve microbial yeast-based fuel cells that steal "some of the electrons produced when the yeast metabolizes glucose" in order to create a small current. While the entire process works just fine, the yeast cells are at risk unless the waste products are removed. We can't exactly let the waste be dumped into the blood stream, so until there's a some kind of cleaning process, the batteries are trouble as they either they die off or poison your bloodstream while trying to survive.
That trouble aside though, the research is quite encouraging and a huge first step. It may be many years until we can use bio-batteries, but I'll wait patiently with some Häagen-Dazs until the day that fat bottomed girls really make the rockin' world go 'round. [New Scientist]
I Dated a Cyborg [Health]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 15th, 2009
There were some perks to dating a cyborg.
My ex-boyfriend Josh was born mostly deaf, but had some hearing in one ear thanks to a cochlear implant—a spiral of electrodes threaded into his cochlea to stimulate the auditory nerve, bypassing damaged parts of the ear. The surgery, which is irreversible, wipes out any residual hearing in the operated ear. (It's a major invasive procedure—fortunately a one-time thing—that puts the patient at risk of facial paralysis.) A microphone connects to a removable external processor that converts sound to digital code; the code is transmitted to the implanted mechanism by way of a magnet. When fed through the cochlea, the decoded digital information is perceived as sound.
Josh wore the external part of the CI during most of his waking hours and we got by with lipreading and basic signing whenever he took it off. He never once complained about my snoring. If I wanted to have a private conversation with him in the room, I could just detach the magnet on the side of his head. It was also a fun party trick to announce that my boyfriend's head could stick to the fridge.
Not everyone likes a cyborg, however. In fact, many deaf people would be offended at the suggestion that they do something so drastic to artificially augment their hearing. Last year at Gallaudet, the federally chartered university for the deaf in DC, Josh and the writer Michael Chorost co-taught a class designed to address the deaf community's division regarding the use of cochlear implants. There's concern that the technology will eventually render an entire language—American Sign Language—obsolete.
A majority of deaf children are born to hearing parents, many who would sooner opt for insurance-covered implants for their kids than years of sign education, audiologist visits and hearing aids, which are pricey and usually are not covered by medical insurance. Those against CI argue that sign language is categorically better than oral language, and that orally educated deaf children with CIs are missing out on gaining entrance into a rich community and culture. If the CI business "cures" all deaf people, the implications for the signing community are dire.
Gallaudet is a signing university with a vociferous pro-ASL population. In 2006, a newly appointed president was voted out of office ostensibly because she had been educated orally and didn't learn sign until her twenties. Mike and Josh's class looked at how other minorities have dealt with "threats" to their communities and tried to apply the lessons from those experiences to suggest ways that signing deaf people can survive the increase use of CIs.
The other day I asked Mike—who wrote Rebuilt and the amazing cochlear implant story in Wired—what he thought was the most exciting stuff happening in the world of CIs right now. Really, I was fishing for things that would improve my life, should I ever date another half-bot: How about solar-charged receivers that don't require batteries (which used to die so conveniently during fights)? A line of accessories that could keep the thing in place during snogging? A remote control that could allow me to manipulate his every move, want and desire?
Mike didn't think there was that much to report—I was a little disappointed he didn't mention cat CIs! The future, according to Mike, is technology that facilitates two-way communication. Hearing people who dream of super-human auditory abilities probably won't be lining up to get CIs any time soon.
"The engineering is too difficult and the risks are too great," Mike told me. He sees implantation surgery going in a more practical direction. "People might be willing to get them to facilitate new forms of communication that to us would seem like telepathy," he said. "I don't mean the transmission of speech; there's no point to that, since we can do that. I'm talking about the transmission of brain states—fear, alertness, anger—and, in a certain sense, of memories."
In short, CI technology, as crazy science-fiction-esque as it seems, is already looking like the old grandpa in the rocking chair, nodding knowingly while the pro-CI and anti-CI groups still battle on like so many Hatfields and McCoys. "The real breakthroughs in neurotech will come not from doing existing things better, but from doing entirely new things," he said. From an outside perspective, it seems that, if the two sides were to unite and embrace implant technology, the deaf community could come out at the forefront of cyborg-ology. The deaf community has already been profoundly effected by neurotechnology. It's a point of view Mike argued elegantly in a much-debated 2007 speech he gave at Gallaudet:
We are heading into a future where the technology is opening up profoundly new possibilities for communication and group awareness...Cochlear implants are the cutting edge of a field called neurotechnology—the science of developing completely new kinds of ways of interfacing with the body and the brain...Who better than the deaf community to actively seize the lead in developing communications technologies that interact directly with the nervous system? And to experiment with new social forms to explore their uses? We already have one foot—more than one foot—in that world.
Tomorrow, I may get a brain implant that will help me not repeat myself or remember where I put my keys. Or remember where I put my keys. A large part of the deaf community, however, have already ventured farther down that road than I may ever see. Or, for the matter, hear.
Anna Jane Grossman is the author of Obsolete: An Encyclopedia of Once-Common Things Passing Us By (Abrams Image) and the creator of iamobsolete.net. Her writing has appeared in dozens of publications, including the New York Times, Salon.com, the Associated Press, Elle and the Huffington Post. She has a complicated relationship with technology, but she does have an eponymous website: AnnaJane.net. Follow her on Twitter at @AnnaJane.
Meet the British Man with the “Bionic Bottom” [Cyborgs]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 15th, 2009
What better way to, um, end the This Cyborg Life theme week than a post about a British guy with a bionic ass?
Meet Ged Galvin, a 55-year-old chap from Barnsley, south Yorkshire, who is currently in possession of a very special remote control. A remote control that, when engaged, controls Galvin’s bowels and allows him to go to the bathroom with dignity. Dignity that was, sadly, robbed from him in the wake of a horrific motorcycle accident that nearly killed him.
At first, the operation that saved his life left him unable to control his bowels. That meant a colostomy bag and all the inconvenience and potential embarrassment that comes with such an arrangement. But then in stepped more doctors. They had a plan. They could rebuild him, make his sphincter stronger. And that’s exactly what they did.
Using muscle from Galvin’s knee, the doctors wrapped his sphincter muscle and attached a number of electrodes to the muscle nerves. Enter the remote control, which Galvin compares to a chubby cellphone, and bowel function was restored. It’s as easy as an on/off switch, he said in an interview with the Telegraph, “just like switching on the TV.”
Britain is calling him the man with the bionic bottom, and he’s just fine with that. After all, he could be dead. This is better, and while he’s not as beautiful as guest editor Aimee Mullins, he’s a great fit for This Cyborg Life, and I wish him well. [Telegraph via Geekologie]
Careful, You’ll Poke an Eye Out with That Thing [Eyeball Removal]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 15th, 2009
How might one repair a cyborg's eye in the future? Why, with this handy eyeball removing tool. How does one forget what's seen in this image? Macallan 12 years, neat, that's how. [Bloomers and Bows via Boing Boing Gadgets]
The Enhanced Human, SkyMall Style [Gadgets]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 15th, 2009
I am ashamed of two things. 1) That in our quest for the cyborg life, we were beaten to the punch by SkyMall, and 2) that none of the following products are fake.
Let's just get this first one out of the way: Not only does the Head Spa Massager look like someone in the 1970s designed it in a future-Sparta fashion, but it's a massage helmet. You look ridiculous, and it can't even secretly double as a sexual aid.

This handsome silver fox has it going on. I mean, he's talking to a sexy lady, and a power call could easily come through his Bluetooth earpiece at any moment, right? Nope, he fooled you! He's hard of hearing, and that's just his Stealth Secret Sound Amplifier. (I laughed when I first saw this, but now it just makes me sad.)

Every cyborg I know of has a head-mounted camera, and since this 5-megapixel Digital Camera Swim Mask is only good for 15' depth (that is, snorkeling or swimming pools), you might as well make the most of it and wear it on dry land too! Even has a cyborg-friendly LED that shines inside the mask, to let your friends know who's part robot tell you when you're shooting.

If sci-fi tells us anything, it's that the bionic man (or woman) has great posture. Thankfully, the Posturetek Biofeedback System—it's a shirt, but they call it a system—"senses incorrect posture and gently encourages posture correction." My assumption is that it doesn't use sharp spikes or electric shocks, but it's still a tad sinister.

Snore correction makes up approximately 94% of SkyMall revenue, but only one, the SnorePro Snore Relief Device, attaches to your wrist and sends a "biofeedback digital pulse" when the log sawing kicks in. (Can you imagine having a business card with the word SnorePro emblazoned on it? Would that be awful or awesome?)

When you embark on the man-machine merger, it makes sense to complement some of that silicon with silicone, if you catch my drift. Hell, you got so much going on, nobody's going to notice that you've shoved some Body Figure Enhancing Pads down your pants. Well, they'll notice, but not in a bad way.

What good is the cyborg life if it doesn't permit you to jump higher, run faster, have more energy, appear 2" taller and "look like a million dollars"? The Gravity Defyers (spelling lessons sold separately) have been tempting travelers for ages with those very promises. Besides, its patented spring-loaded sole is found on no other shoe in the world pretty much ever, for some reason.

Locutus of Borg wasn't much of a jumper—his footwear of choice skewed toward the comfort-illumination lines. That's why he swore by the Brightfeet Lighted Slippers. They're just the thing to slip on when you're making the midnight trek from the regeneration chamber to the cube pissoir.
This week, Gizmodo is exploring the enhanced human future in a segment we call This Cyborg Life. It's about what happens when we treat our body less as a sacred object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine.
How Cellphones Are Changing Our Brains [This Cyborg Life]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 15th, 2009
We've spent a lot of time this week discussing how we can use technology to change our bodies. But according to new research, one of the gadgets we rely on daily is already having a measurable effect on our brains.
Researchers at Örebro University in Sweden found that cellphone usage increases the brain's production of transthyretin, a protein found in cerebrospinal fluid that cushions and protects the brain. The researchers don't know if the increased presence of the protein is good or bad for the brain, or what kind of effects it might have in the long run.
Regardless of the effects, this observation is pretty wild. We've talked a lot about how gadgets will change our bodies, but how will our bodies change to accommodate those gadgets?
Maybe increased transthyretin production is brain's last-ditch effort to fight off cancer. Or maybe it's the first of many adaptations we'll see as we let technology become a part of ourselves. [Wired]
Normal Was Never Cool: Inception of Perception [Aimee Mullins]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 14th, 2009
Last year I met a beautiful five-year-old child, who had been born with neurofibramatosis (NF), causing her left leg to have extremely brittle bones.
For nearly the first year of her life, her parents and doctors were unaware of the NF, and the brittleness had contributed to multiple bone fractures of the lower leg, unbeknownst to anyone. These early bone breaks resulted in her left leg being seven centimeters shorter than the other, and as a bright, precocious and athletic child, she adapted to her leg imbalance incredibly well. I felt like I could have been looking at myself as a 5 year old. Unlike me, however, who didn't have a clue about an aesthetic style in outward appearance until college, she already had been bitten by the fashion bug, and was particularly excited by the prospect of a new holiday dress or her first day of school outfit. Her source of distress lay in the fact that the vast majority of little girls' shoes were off-limits for her, as there were only a few companies that made shoes that could be adapted with a special lift to even out her walking planes. These shoes had to work within the structure of the external leg brace she grew up wearing.
Her parents were impressive in their own right, first by not imposing labels or limits on her, and then making this medical journey of decisions for their child a collaborative process that included her, appraising her of new options in technology that had arisen as they became aware of them. Unfortunately, technology in her case—a successive series of operations to try and stretch the brittle leg using internal rods and pins to fuse the bone—hadn't progressed as fast they would have hoped. After the first two of what they knew would be many surgeries, her parents and doctors had made the decision to proceed with this rod approach until she reached five years of age. Then they would re-evaluate the process, considering any advancements in technology. If it hadn't advanced past this type of treatment, they would consider "other options."
Shortly after her sixth birthday, her mother told me, "She downloaded all these images of you off of the internet, and she's always asking ‘when, when can I get rid of my bad leg, when can I get a new leg?'" She even did her show-and-tell at school about prosthetics!
That is decidedly not what I would have expected a six-year-old to do.
Amazingly, because of technological progress in prosthetics, amputation was now an attractive option for this family. Amputation and subsequent fittings with prosthetics was simply seen as liberation from a leg that didn't function.
After a few months, the child's mother called me, telling me that she, her spouse, and the doctors collectively made the decision to amputate, and that they would be telling the child this news that very night. My reaction was visceral and very surprising to me: I felt my breath grow short and my heart pounded, and I felt ill as waves of stress and worry pummeled me. I panicked at what role I might have played in this chain of events, and how I couldn't guarantee that this child would have anywhere near the same experiences I had had as an amputee? I found myself having doubts I had never had about myself or, indeed, most any amputee: "Would she be okay? Would her life be happy and full of opportunity?"
I spoke to the mother one last time before the surgery, and she informed me of the surgeon's decision to do an amputation through the ankle, the common thinking to be to "save as much of the flesh and bone leg" as possible. I couldn't be sure about this and hesitated even mentioning it, but I asked the mother if she had consulted with the child's would-be prosthetist about this "Syme's" style amputation, because I had heard reports of resulting limitations in people being able to obtain the latest prosthetic technology.
Ironically, by keeping more of the residual limb, you negate more options for different prosthetics, as there is no physical room to put the components (think of the shock-absorber and spring leg). An incredible facet of this story for me was learning that, at no time before this rather momentous surgery of this child, did the pediatric surgeon and the prosthetist ever have even one conversation.
Her mother investigated with the prosthetist who confirmed that, by leaving as much of the limb as possible, the child wouldn't be able to get any of the legs in the images she downloaded from the web. The surgeon was shocked to learn this, and had never considered that it might actually be better to amputate a few inches higher, increasing the future mobility options of the child.
This past April, while walking through a street fair hosted by the Tribeca Film Festival, I felt a tug on my shirt. It was this little girl, 6 months after her amputation, with colored paints on her face and in her hair, and a plastic tee-ball bat in her hand. She was jumping up and down (post-cotton candy) and she wanted to show me her new High School Musical 3 "tattooed" leg. She asked me if I knew Zac Efron and "could I get him to autograph her leg?" (I don't, but I'm working on hooking this up.)
She pulled me a few meters over to the batting cage stand, where she deftly used her prosthetic leg to press the foot pedal, launching a whiffle ball pitch that she smacked as hard as she could. On her feet, she proudly sported Mary Janes covered with red sequins. Seven months ago, she was as active as a child could be with a leg brace and tremendous pain; here, she ran and jumped and cartwheeled and tackled her little brother, who tackled her back. Even I, who rarely doubts the incredible ability of human beings to adapt to their adversity, was awe-struck.
I wondered how her childhood, her adolescence, her college years would collude to shape how she saw herself. Would she struggle through various identities, wanting to be "normal" as I did, only to find eventual freedom of self-expression in the absence of normalcy? Barring puberty, which is probably awful for everyone, I think this girl is going to skip over ever wanting to be "normal." Why be normal when you can have Zac Efron and Friends staring up at you everyday from your ankle?
The generation of children growing up today has a distinct advantage in this realm of identity, thanks to their daily interaction with the internet and video games. It's commonplace for them to create avatars and parallel representations of themselves, and they see their ability to change, transform, and augment those bodies to best suit their surroundings as beneficial.
That kind of fluid thinking was once solely the domain of those whose imaginations were heavily influenced by both technology and science fiction. Talk about seeing evolution speed up before your eyes. My being able to embrace the art in my artifice, to change my identities—how I perceive myself and how others respond to that perception — has profoundly changed the way I see the world and my opportunities in it. But I didn't possess that ability at age six.
I keep thinking of how long it takes for most of us to go through the process of first accepting ourselves as we are, strengths and weaknesses, then celebrating that self and starting to have fun with your strengths and weaknesses, then transforming ourselves as architects of own our identities, redefining what our strengths and weaknesses actually are. I think kids today are able to do this faster than previous generations.
I've noticed a progression from how kids used to respond to my wooden legs to responses toward a prosthetic limb today. Quite simply, the fear-as-first-response has all but disappeared; I do not experience children who are afraid to meet me and in fact, I haven't recently met any child who, when I'm sporting obvious prosthetics like the RoboCop legs, wasn't drawn like a magnet to them, accompanied by a list of very astute questions.
For the most part, it's adults who rein kids in, in an attempt to not have them stare or offend with their natural curiosity.
But curiosity is necessary; it is the foundation of imagination and innovation. It's tremendously important to allow children to see the diversities of human experience and understand how their own lives relate to it, so we can acknowledge how much more similar we are as human beings than different…even if what makes us different is where we discover and engage our rare and valuable qualities, offering them to society.
When I was a child, I watched plenty of episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation. Where some see Professor Xavier, I secretly know he's Captain Jean-Luc Picard. And thanks to airport security, I admit that I often daydream of being able to be molecularly transported around the world. I think about that other little girl and wonder to what extent her ability—and that of her peers—to google the word "prosthetic" and come up with tons of imagery to inspire their imaginations marks a marvelous shift in our society.
There's plenty of evidence that connects our visualization of what we dream to be possible to what we eventually create as a new reality. Gene Rodenberry's imagination in Star Trek and that of Arthur Clarke's, Marvin Minsky's and Stanley Kubrick's in 2001: A Space Odyssey had a direct impact on funding certain projects at NASA because scientists and researchers had "seen" this whole imaginary world, and they sought to make it real.
For my own childhood inspiration, I had the Bionic Woman and Six Million Dollar Man (to this day, the somber phrase "we can rebuild him" makes my heart pound wildly!), and even Inspector Gadget cartoons made me draw third grade pictures of legs with rocket jet packs flaming from the heels.
This "entertainment" not only asks questions but encourages more of them, replete with inherent timelines for answers: "When are we going to do molecular transport? We've been seeing it for forty years on Star Trek!" It's within the scope of our imagination.
I remember in high school seeing Forrest Gump when they convincingly transformed Lt. Dan—Gary Sinise, an actor with two flesh and bone legs—into an amputee. A budding actress, I thought "Oh my God, if they can do this with CGI, couldn't they do the opposite? Could they create an image of me on screen with full flesh and bone legs?" I was intrigued by the imaginary visual of a different version of myself, and I suspect it provided something tangible when asked if now, at this point in my life, I would trade my prosthetics for flesh and bone legs. (I wouldn't.)
The transformative power of films lay in engaging how I imagined myself and my "realities," giving me license to re-imagine them as I desire. Now that many people, starting from an early age, are creating and choosing their own identities in a virtual world—or in multiple virtual worlds—this self-malleable perspective has a lot of power. People can align themselves with global groups of their own choosing, and see themselves as their ideal selves without many of the social constraints present just a generation ago.
Although it took surviving junior high, I evolved myself to the point where I decided against measuring myself to "normalcy," deciding instead to self-determine what was cool, who was cool, and the transformation subsequently happened in how other people treated me. "Cogito, ergo sum." It's one of the simplest truths we revealed for ourselves, right? "I think, therefore I am." If you think you can pull it off, you can. Or as Henry Ford put it, "whether you think you ‘can' or you think you ‘can't': either way, you're right."
I'd postulate that technology is innately teaching today's children that very same lesson, and they're learning it much earlier.
This confident perspective, one perpetually shifting from imagination to invention—be it a personality, a human figure or a new technology—would not have happened a hundred years ago. If I had been born back then, I doubt I would have been enabled by society to do much, even with a self-ignited fire of human spirit, as being a woman was as much of a disability as anything.
Today, I'm grateful for all of my strengths and weaknesses, changing and morphing as they are, and I'm especially grateful for technology's advancements to prosthetics, as my life has been successful because of having had them, not in spite of having had them.
Aimee Mullins is an athlete, speaker, actress and model we met at TEDMED. She's also the guest editor for our theme week This Cyborg Life. Read her bio here.
[Lead Image:
Matthew Barney
CREMASTER 3, 2002
©2002 Matthew Barney
Photo: Chris Winget
Courtesy Gladstone Gallery]
There Shouldn’t Be A GPS Tracking System In My Lingerie [Nsfw]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 14th, 2009
I'm all for naughty, oh-come-treat-me-like-a-bad-girl-tonight scraps of lace. What I'm not such a fan of is trashy oh-come-follow-me-using-the-built-in-GPS lingerie. I don't care if it's pretty, frilly designer lingerie. It's got a damn tracking system embedded in the fabric.
Designed by Lucia Lorio, this fashion line is dubbed "Find Me If You Can." But how could you not find someone when they're running around with a pager-sized GPS device sewn into a bodice? While the fact that it would be impossible to not notice the gadget makes me laugh off the whole paranoia of jealous men using this as a sneaky way to keep tabs on their lovers, I still think it's a ridiculous design. Why you would spend between $1200 and $1600 for something intended to be ripped off a body. [The Age via GizmoWatch]
Becoming a Sexual Cyborg (NSFW) [Cyborg Sex]
Posted by: Gadget Boy in Gadget News on November 14th, 2009
I used to think "sexual enhancement" just meant "sex toys." That is, until I started exploring the wonderful—and sometimes utterly weird—world of mechanical and electronic sex augmentations. Here's what's happening now and what will happen soon.
As you'll see, existing innovations take our tongues, fingers, vulvas and penises to the next level. But the future of sex augmentations appears to lie in biometrics and in networking. Soon toys will learn from and interact with our bodies' responses, with or without a partner, while teledildonics will help people separated by vast distances get closer (and wetter).
Tongue, Extended
Whoever made women's genitals certainly made them tricky to stimulate—especially orally. Enter the Tongue Joy, a vibrating tongue enhancement to help human tongues do what no human can in terms of sensation and endurance. Strap the silicone-banded vibe on your tongue (or, if your tongue is pierced, use the barbell piercing attachment) and proceed with awesome. It's battery operated and comes with multiple band sizes in case you want to strap it around something bigger. Four silicone sleeve attachments enhance the size and texture of the vibrating yummy-ness. Lovely for oral sex on a man, too, particularly those who are into hummers that aren't cars.
Bionic Fingers
The vibrating three-finger power pack and glove by Fukuoku enhance the size and function of one's digits, transforming your fingers into vibrators that run at up to 45,000 vpm (that would be vibes per minute). They're more particularly cyborgy than most sex toys, if that's your thing. (Ahem, Malebots subscribers!)
Unnatural Male Enhancement
The Ride On (pun intended) blows most penis extenders (pun not intended) out of the water. It's more comfortable, less bulky and stays on in more positions than other models—all while fulfilling its purpose of enhancing the size and function of a man's penis. Function? Yes. Some men use these not for length or girth but to keep having sex during half time. Available from Vixens Creations, the Ride On gets men around that annoying "refractory period" that is the curse of many a man's sexistence. It's also useful for men with severe or chronic erectile dysfunction (ED) who want in.

Electronic Condoms?
Given the perception that condoms may reduce sensation, sex-loving scientists have been proposing vibrating condom designs since at least the 1990s. Given the enormous improvements in vibrators since then, it's unclear what a vibrating condom—if ever brought to market—would ultimately look like. Will it have an awkward external wire and power pack like the one in this 1995 patent image? (Here's a PDF of the actual patent.) Or will it be built into the condom itself, as thin as a BandAid, as in my dreams? The design will have to depend on functionality: The vagina is not as sensitive as a woman's vulva (clitoris, labia, etc) so the value of a vibrating shaft may be more for a man than his partner. That is, unless it vibrates at the base by a woman's vaginal opening or clitoris, like the Trojan Vibrating Ring or the Bo—a favorite.

The Hydraulic Penis
As potentially borgy as it is, this pre-Viagra augmentation is for now only available for men with ED that is unlikely to respond to medication or sex therapy. This type of penile implant lets men pump themselves into an erect state whenever they want—note that pump in the scrotum—and deflate on command. There's none of those scary erections lasting longer than 4 hours that we hear about in commercials starring Bob Dole. Though many men may dream of having this much control over their erections, the ones who use this do it as a last resort. Once it's been in use for a while, some men lose their natural erectile reflex because their body no longer has to work at it. Moral of the story: Enjoy what you've got.
Hymen Again
Fake hymens give the illusion that one is going where no man has gone before. One option is a hymenoplasty—a surgical procedure that "restores" a woman's hymen. This is done only rarely in the US, but is performed increasingly in other countries, often for women who who feel they need to prove their virginity to their fiancé or his family lest they risk shame or, scarily, even violence. Sometimes, the operation is requested by women who want to give their partner the "gift" of taking their virginity, like as an anniversary gift (for serious—and to think I'd go with golf clubs or a Garmin).
There is a mail-order product that a woman places inside her vagina which simulates the loss of virginity, fake blood and all. Gigimo's Artificial Virginity Hymen, has come under fire by some Egyptian politicians, who even called for a ban on it. Meanwhile, women everywhere are still calling for an end to practices that insist they "prove" their virginity to anyone or anything. On a different note, a quick word to Gigimo: When you write that you can "have your first night back anytime," does that include the awkward fumbling, 20-second staying power, and the two weeks of worrying about being pregnant?
Biometrics: Gadgets That Get You
I've seen (dreamed?) the future of sex toys and It. Is. Awesome. Ideas are swirling about how to create sex toys that rely on digital biometrics. No, we're not talking fingerprint-activated toys that prevent women's husbands from getting curious when they're home alone. We're talking about products that respond to vaginal temperature, pelvic contractions leading up to orgasm, heart rate, even pelvic blood flow. Sexual Aids of the Future may be able to learn a person's sexual response and alter stimulation patterns based on the data.
Maybe there will eventually be a gadget that will help men to last longer (so long, baseball!) or women to come more quickly. Maybe it will build sexual tension in such a lovely way that pleasure and orgasm are on the "better than average" side of the mountain more often than not. The technology is there, the ideas are there, all it takes is execution, I'm betting sooner rather than later. When the day of biometrically enhanced stimulation comes, I guarantee we will wake ‘n gadget with more than our iPhones.

Teledildonics: Long-Distance Yearning
Though most sex toys enhance in-person play, some toys facilitate sex between people across the miles. Take the PenisTron, for example, which looks and probably feels (thanks to vacuum effects) like a Fleshlight version of a vagina—and it can be controlled, tightened or slowed to a seductive drag by a man's partner out in the ether to simulate the two of them having sex.
There's also the Communication Hole Rider (which involves vacuum effects) and the Joystick (vacuum effects on the penis and a joystick up the butt)—all which can help to connect two people for interactive sex play.
It's not sex with a toy; it's sex with a person via a toy: Big difference. Sure, you miss out on the kissing. (The mostly male sex toy designers never seem to create toys that make out with you, except for some freaky robot girlfriends.) On the other hand, there's no risk for infection or pregnancy when you're doing it teledildonically.
My dream for teledildonics is that we eventually fine tune toys to produce more variety and transitions. IRL sex tends to move, for example, from sucking (vacuum effects) to licking (hey there, Sqweel) to mouth kissing (freaky robot girlfriend) to intercourse (vacuum again) to hand play (toned down version of the Fukuako glove) or whatever else you're into (furniture play?). And if it were me playing with a partner over the internet I'd want to touch, to kiss, to lick, to play in varied teasing ways—not just yank their junk with the PenisTron (though it's a good start). Who's with me?
Debby Herbenick, PhD is a Research Scientist and Associate Director of The Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. She blogs at MySexProfessor.com.
This week, Gizmodo is exploring the enhanced human future in a segment we call This Cyborg Life. It's about what happens when we treat our body less as a sacred object and more as what it is: Nature's ultimate machine.


